Lately Iapos;m just depressed. I can be feeling good and then my mood just sinks down until i just want to curl up and cry. I keep thinking of things. People and places. Where my life is going. Whatapos;s come and whatapos;s gone.
Things are just always going up and down. Some days I feel everything is going right and turning around and then something comes up and its all back to square one.
Dadapos;s currently unemployed again. He at least gets an unemployment check, and heapos;s supposedly got a job coming when they finish getting it set up.
Momapos;s seeing a new doctor but we still donapos;t really have any idea whats wrong with her.
My sisters pregnancy is coming along and every other day its some new bullshit with her stupid ass boyfriend because they keep fighting.
My job is going ok, the pay is certainly nice and Iapos;m going to take advantage of the benefits when I get them at the end of november. But Iapos;m kind of evaluating on exactly how long I want to stay at it. Itapos;s a pretty good job, with good security. But I really donapos;t want to stay in this town. But my family keeps going on and on about my career and talking about things 5, 10 years down the line, getting me hired on as civil service. And really I donapos;t want to stay here more than another year, pending on how mom and dad are doing. So till then Iapos;m just going to save up, save for a few small things like some knickknacks and things like FC.
Speaking of FC, plans are going ok. Due to my last paycheck and then some disappearing towards family I havenapos;t gotten the planeticket yet, but that should be soon, probably by my next paycheck or so, especially since the price is currently low. The room is reserved and Iapos;ll register sometime soon, at least before registration closes. Currently I only have one tentative roommate, but things may change.
And then thereapos;s my friends. Well, Iapos;m finally alone in town. Of the two remaining friends I had, one just isnapos;t talking to me because he does nothing but party and hunt for bar tail, and the other.. Well his marriage melted down and he moved away. Didnapos;t even get a goodbye. I only just got a message from him a day ago giving me his new number and apologizing because he was too busy due to apos;packing and workingapos;, though he managed to say goodbye to somebody (which told me it was the girl heapos;d had a crush on). So yah. I wake up, go to work, come home, and repeat the process. On weekends I just stya home, or go see a movie, or rent a game, or see my grandparents a bit.
As for my other friends, as always things are changing. I feel myself being distanced from a few. Which happens, I understand, everything changes. Just kind of sad still. I miss talking to others, would be nice to get a hi from them once in a while, at least to know Iapos;m not forgotten. But everyone gets busy. Everyone moves on. And Iapos;ve met some new friends, wonderful people, even heard from some old friends, always a pleasant surprise. Have even had a recent change of heart from someone thatapos;s been distant to me. Just happy to know so many great people.
So, I guess thatapos;s most things up to speed, hope it explains some things. Take care folks.
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